This is all off to an awfully wrong start. New beginnings are never that new though. I suppose because we never really start with a clean slate. We start with what we have and although we like to think that we are able to really wipe the past away we are not. So here I was. Being naive like usual and missing the point. A blank webpage did not cross off the past. It did not negate the loss or pain or love or joy. It all still exists. And sometimes it pervades my writing and overtakes. But I shall try and reign it in. I shall try and write about our life and not just about the past. Except for now when I write exactly about the past.

So onwards. The point of this all.

One year and one week and one day ago we became us. We went from friends to lovers. I use the term lovers loosely. But since I am the one writing I will continually use words inaccurately. I accept that. So here we are and there we were. In a year we dated, decided to marry each other, got engaged, got married and sealed in the Calgary Temple, went on a honeymoon and moved in together. Now we are just living like married people. Trying to schedule two lives together and growing together more than I ever could have imagined. I dont imagine real things though so I am sure Jeff could have pictured this. He appreciates my complete lack of actual vision. I can create elaborate quick responses that are based on no part of reality but I fail to see how things can blossom in real life. We are very different. Very.

So here I am. I would say we but Jeff is not present as I type this. We have a life together now and one day I want our children to be able to read about what we experience and who we were before we were parents. When we were just us.

So here it begins.


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