And suppose I never ever met you. Suppose we never fell in love. Suppose I never ever let you, kiss me so sweet and so soft. Suppose I never ever saw you. Suppose we never ever called. Suppose I kept on singing love songs, just to break my own fall.
This is so me. So us. I did fall in love and I did marry the love of my life. I have eternity with my best friend but it didnt just happen and it wasnt easy and it amazes me we ended up together because there were so many things that could have changed it all.
When we met I was young. I was very guarded and particular. I was serious and uninterested. Love to me was unattainable but in the same moment I was fascinated. I didnt let anyone in too close because I seemed unsure. I wandered in and out of relationships I knew wouldnt work. And then I became a child of divorce. And I felt like real love would never last And maybe it didnt exist. My dating choices went exponentially the wrong way after that. I thought someone that wished I didnt have morals could be right, or that someone that placed their religion above mine could have been. But really I just tip toed around people that were wrong because I was too scared to be hurt the way that love hurts.
So when I came back and you were here I knew. But I couldnt risk it. It would be the first time I would put everything on the line for the possibility of love, the mere possibility of it. So I ignored it, for weeks. Until the new year began and you were to go out of town and then I couldnt do it. You leaving for 10 days felt like eternity. And I couldnt be away from you for eternity. I wanted to be with you for that long.
There was everything and nothing going for us. I lived in Utah for four years and Brisbane for two. Meanwhile you lived in Lethbridge, Virginia, Idaho, Arizona, Texas and Florida. So the fact we both came back at the same time seems like fate. And that we didnt find someone else in between it all. And that when I realized I needed and wanted love more than anything you were there for me. There were so many chances when we were young, but if I didnt spend that time singing love songs to myself and trying not to fall I wouldnt have been ready.
There was only one person I was ever meant to be with for eternity and there were so many chances for us to never fall in love. But here we are. Married. And I am literally the luckiest girl on earth.
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